Death Isn’t Taboo — It’s Sacred
Celebrating Death
A Radical Invitation to Honor the End, Just as We Do the Beginning
As an end-of-life doula, it probably comes as no surprise that I believe we should celebrate death just as much as we celebrate life.
That might sound radical to some. But celebration doesn't always mean balloons and streamers — it can mean reverence, ritual, reflection, and presence. Celebration, in this context, is a way of honoring what was and what is. It’s marking a transition with intentionality and meaning.
Celebrating death might look like recognizing a loved one’s death anniversary. It could be participating in Día de los Muertos, creating a living funeral for yourself or someone else, or engaging in ritual acts to mark a passing. And sometimes, it’s as simple — and profound — as having honest conversations about death. That alone can be a form of celebration. It’s a beginning.
A Personal Invitation
Wherever you are on the spectrum of death awareness — from unsure and uneasy to open and curious — I want to offer you a few reflections. Maybe this will shift your perspective. Maybe it will help you start thinking about your own end-of-life wishes. Or maybe it will give you the courage to begin a conversation with an aging parent or loved one.
Wherever you’re at, you are welcome here. I hold this topic with bluntness and deep empathy.
Sitting With the Body
Here’s something many people don’t know: you can often buy yourself time with your loved one’s body after death, before it is taken away. In many cases, we feel afraid, unprepared, or simply uncomfortable being in the presence of a dead body. We want it removed quickly. We call the mortuary, the hospital staff takes over, and the body is gone — often within minutes.
But here’s the question: why is it culturally acceptable — even encouraged — to sit vigil with a dying person, yet the moment they take their last breath, we recoil?
The shift from dying to dead is dramatic in our minds. Suddenly, this person — the same one we were just holding hands with — becomes “other.” Taboo. Scary. In many ways, that fear is learned.
But sitting with the body after death can be incredibly healing. It allows our minds and hearts to begin integrating the reality of the loss. It’s a sacred moment that doesn’t have to be rushed.
In many cultures, time with the deceased is deeply ritualized. Families wash the body, wrap it in cloth, sing songs, and offer prayers. These rituals give space for grief to begin. In contrast, our modern Western culture often outsources this process entirely — to people who didn’t even know our loved one.
But you have choices.
You Can Slow Things Down
You don’t always have to call the mortuary immediately. In a hospital setting, you can request a few hours with your loved one’s body. If you’re at home, there’s usually even more flexibility. You can use that time — whether it’s 15 minutes or several hours — to be present, to process, to honor.
You might want to:
Gently wash or sponge bathe the body
Comb their hair
Dress them in something meaningful
Lay flowers around the body or on the bed
Light a candle or play music they loved
Speak final words or prayers
Write letters and tuck them into their hands or beside them
These acts are simple, yet sacred. They allow the family to feel more connected, more grounded, and a little more at peace as the grieving begins. Death is hard. But it doesn’t have to be rushed. Contrary to cultural norms, there’s no rule saying it all has to be over in an hour.
You Deserve Choices
If you choose to work with an alternative funeral home, you may find yourself with far more time, space, and freedom than you thought possible. These homes offer a slower, more intentional experience rooted in dignity and empathy.
Because here’s the truth: death isn’t one-size-fits-all. It shouldn’t be handled like a transaction. It’s deeply personal. Profoundly sacred. A unique reflection of the life that was lived.
Let’s honor it that way.
A Resource I Recommend
In my work as a death doula and end-of-life midwife, I often refer clients to Sacred Crossings — an alternative funeral home I deeply respect. Their approach is thoughtful, soulful, and family-centered. Whether you’re preparing for your own transition or navigating the death of someone you love, Sacred Crossings offers compassionate guidance and choice.
You can learn more at: sacredcrossingsfuneralhome.com
Let’s Talk About It
Our culture often treats death as a failure, an inconvenience, something to be sanitized and hidden. But I believe death is a rite of passage — worthy of the same reverence we give to birth.
By bringing death out of the shadows, we give ourselves a gift: we begin to understand life more deeply. We learn what matters. We reconnect with what’s essential.
So here’s my invitation:
Start the conversation. Ask the hard questions. Get curious.
And when the time comes — for you or someone you love — don’t be afraid to slow down, to honor, to celebrate.
Because death, too, is sacred. And it deserves to be seen.
“Death is not an error. It is not a failure. It is taking off a tight shoe.”
— Ram Dass
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