Stretching Oneself: Discomfort, Growth, and the Breath of Life
It’s much easier to stay put.
To not do the uncomfortable thing.
Or the different thing.
Or even the thing we want the most.
It’s easier to stick with what’s familiar — to keep things the same.
And that’s exactly what our ego wants us to do.
The ego says: stay small. Stay in the box. Stay with the known.
But our soul — our intuition — is craving more.
Craving growth. Craving the unknown. Craving spontaneity, fun, and play.
Showing Up for Ourselves
This is one of the reasons why, in a breathwork session (or really any session I offer), I always acknowledge the client hugely for just showing up.
For choosing themselves.
For saying yes to doing the work.
My breathwork mentor always says, “This work is not for the faint of heart.” I love that. It’s such a compliment. It makes me feel strong, seen, and heard — and I want my clients to feel the same.
Because just showing up — when the ego says “don’t bother” — is the first stretch.
My Daughter's Leap into the Unknown
My daughter is spending two weeks on the East Coast this summer with her best friend. Last year, her friend’s family moved across the country to be closer to extended family. What used to be a five-minute walk between besties is now a five-hour plane ride.
It would have been easier not to send her. Easier to let FaceTime suffice. But I wanted more for her.
So I hired two puppy sitters, a house sitter, and booked tickets to Rhode Island. I flew out with her to show her the ropes before she flies home alone.
She’s nervous. She doesn’t want to fly solo.
This year, she taught me a new word: emetophobia — a fear of vomiting. She’s twelve. (Twelve! What is happening to our little people?!) And her biggest fear about flying home is: what if the person next to her gets sick and she can’t move?
Unfortunately, that fear is rooted in real experience. On one of our recent flights, a woman seated next to us was very sick the entire ride. But we were together. She had me to lean on. This time, she won’t.
Breathwork in Real Life
And yet — she will breathe through it.
She knows how.
She has tools. I’ve taught her all I can.
She knows how to advocate for herself, to speak up to a flight attendant. She has her breathing exercises, her EMDR playlists, her calming rituals.
She’ll have to sit in her discomfort — just like in breathwork — and let it move through her.
And that’s what stretching ourselves looks like.
Still, it would have been easier not to go.
To stay home.
To stay small.
But she didn’t.
And now she’s immersing herself in a totally different world — East Coast culture, a new family dynamic, a different rhythm of life.
I know lots of kids do sleepaway camps and maybe this doesn’t sound like a big deal. But for her? This is big. And I’m so proud of her for stretching.
There are big ways, like this.
And there are small ways we stretch daily, too.
Stretching Myself, Too
After I flew with her to Rhode Island, I decided to take a quick two-day trip to Boston — a city I’d shockingly never visited, despite all my travels.
Part of me wanted to stay cozy in my friend’s home, soaking in the laughter of the reunited 12-year-old besties. But another part of me — the part that needs to roam and be surprised — nudged me toward the train station.
Travel is something that makes me feel alive. It rejuvenates me.
And while one day I’d love a travel companion again, right now, solo travel feels freeing.
Making all the decisions based solely on how I feel in the moment is incredibly rewarding.
It nourishes my soul.
I didn’t need to explain that to my friend — but I did. I told her how much I love connecting with her, and also how soul-filling and juicy it is to experience something new.
After all, the sitters were set, the house was cared for. I carved out this time for myself.
Just two days.
But two days wandering a new city, on my own, lit me up.
I could feel my soul expand.
The Breath as a Metaphor
In breathwork, we practice breathing into the tight places — the ones we usually avoid. We invite expansion where there’s been constriction. We sit with discomfort long enough for it to move, shift, or teach us something.
Stretching ourselves in life is no different.
My daughter sat with the fear. I sat with the tug-of-war between comfort and growth. We both chose expansion.
And that’s what this is all about — choosing to stretch, even when the ego says “don’t bother.”
Because that’s where the soul lives.
And that’s where we grow.
Just one breath — or one brave step — at a time.
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