End-of-Life Planning: A Gift to Yourself and Your Loved Ones
Why It’s Important to Write Your Advanced Health Directive
Conversations about death are often difficult and uncomfortable. The idea of losing a loved one—or even contemplating our own mortality—can evoke deep feelings of sadness and fear. I understand how challenging these thoughts can be. But the truth is, death is an inevitable part of life. We all must face it, and while we can’t control when or how it happens, we can certainly take proactive steps to ensure that our wishes are honored when the time comes.
As a death doula, I often help people explore their end-of-life preferences in a thoughtful and meaningful way. One of the most important steps you can take is to complete an advanced health directive. This document ensures that, in the event of a medical crisis, your loved ones are not left guessing about your wishes. It provides clarity for both you and your family, allowing everyone to focus on what truly matters during a difficult time.
What is an Advanced Health Directive?
An advanced health directive is a legal document that outlines your preferences for medical treatment in case you are unable to communicate your wishes yourself. This includes decisions regarding life support, resuscitation, organ donation, and other critical healthcare choices. By addressing these questions now—while you’re healthy and able—you can avoid leaving your family to make these tough decisions on your behalf during an emotional crisis.
Do you want a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order in place, should something happen to you? Or would you prefer every possible measure of life support to be taken? If so, how long would you be willing to remain on life support—days, weeks, months? These are not easy questions to answer, but they are essential to consider as part of your end-of-life planning.
For me, the goal is simple: I want my loved ones to know exactly what I want if I am ever in a life-or-death situation. I don’t want them to be burdened with having to guess, nor do I want them to experience the stress of making these decisions for me. Instead, I want them to be able to focus on their own process of grieving and letting go, knowing that my wishes have been clearly communicated.
The Importance of Discussing Your Wishes with Loved Ones
It’s crucial to have these conversations with your family and loved ones well before any medical emergencies arise. Discussing your preferences ensures that everyone is on the same page, preventing confusion or conflict during a time of crisis. And when you put your wishes in writing, they become a binding legal document that medical professionals and loved ones can refer to when necessary.
End-of-Life Planning for Those with Dementia
In addition to traditional advanced health directives, there’s another important document to consider: the Dementia Directive. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), one in seven Americans aged 71 and older has some form of dementia. A Dementia Directive allows individuals with dementia to express their preferences for end-of-life care while they are still able to make decisions. The key is to complete this directive before symptoms of dementia arise, ensuring that your choices are clear should you ever be diagnosed.
How to Get Started
I understand that the idea of filling out these directives can feel overwhelming. But the clarity they provide can bring peace of mind, knowing that your medical decisions will be made according to your wishes. Completing an advanced health directive can be a deeply empowering experience, one that allows you to live fully, without the constant anxiety of unknowns hanging over you.
I encourage you to take the time to fill out these forms, and if you need guidance, I am here to help. As a mindful and compassionate death doula, I specialize in helping individuals and families navigate these difficult but essential conversations. I can walk you through the process step by step, making it less daunting and more manageable.
Your Health, Your Choice
So, let me ask you this: How do you want to live? How do you want to be cared for if you become seriously ill or incapacitated? These are not easy questions, but they are questions worth answering. By taking the time now to express your wishes in writing, you can ensure that your final days reflect your values and desires, making this journey as peaceful and dignified as possible.
If you’re looking for more legal support join my favorite estate attorney in May for a free webinar. Register here.
If you're ready to take the next step toward clarity and peace of mind, I invite you to watch my latest YouTube video
“End-of-Life Planning with Ease & Intention”
In it, I gently walk you through the process of completing your advance directive—making it feel less overwhelming and more empowering. Whether you're just getting started or need help finalizing your choices, this video is here to support you every step of the way.
👉 Join my newsletter for free breathwork session & to receive weekly plus weekly practices, insights, and inspiration to help you slow down, tune in, and reconnect.
👉 Book a free call to explore how somatic support can help you feel more grounded, clear, and connected—no pressure, just a nourishing conversation to meet you where you are.