No One Can Hand You the Map
A friend of mine recently told me she was feeling “over” talk therapy. She’s dissatisfied with her work — both personally and professionally. She lives in the Pacific Northwest and has been practicing as a cognitive behavioral therapist for a long time. She’s also consistently doing her own personal work with her therapist. I really admire her.
She said, “I mean, I’m not sure I’m actually helping — he’s been saying the same thing to me about his ex-wife for five years, and he really just seems like he wants to stay angry. I don’t know what to do anymore to help him out of this cycle.”
Then, she turned the conversation toward herself. She’s incredibly self-aware — intellectually and cognitively — about her own patterns and conditioning. She’s come a long way in her healing, but still bumps up against certain behaviors and patterns she dislikes and wants to change.
She asked me what somatic modality might be best to help her move through these unwanted habits once and for all.
I love dialogues like this!
And the truth is… I have no idea what modality is right for her. Or for anyone. We all have such unique healing paths. We’re here on Earth as spiritual beings having a human experience, each one incredibly unique.
And another truth? I’ve tried so many different modalities. Some worked beautifully for the phase of life I was in. Others didn’t resonate at all. Each one led me to where I am today. I needed every soul-searching, somatic healing experience to evolve into who I am now.
I see this often… clients who are incredibly aware of their patterns but still can’t seem to break them, no matter how badly they want to.
My somatic journey began in my early twenties, when I became a student of Iyengar Yoga. I loved it. It started slowly — a class here and there, then weekly, and eventually, I developed a dedicated morning practice. It transformed my life. That experience was part of what inspired me to become a bodyworker.
After undergrad, I studied massage therapy in Seattle. Around the same time, I began a meditation practice. I started with baby steps, just five minutes of mindfulness a few times a week. Often, I had no idea what I was doing. But I kept showing up. Over time, the minutes grew.
In the beginning, I’d listen to a guided meditation on a CD (yes, I’m dating myself!). Eventually, I didn’t need the CD. I took Jon Kabat-Zinn’s MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) course, and it was a game changer. I carried this practice into my thirties. I even used MBSR techniques during natural childbirth — that’s how powerful it was for me!
Over time, my meditation practice evolved.
It became more personal - a sacred time to connect with my Self, my God, Source, Spirit… whatever you want to call it. Meditation is about quieting the noise in my head and reconnecting with my heart. It keeps me grounded. To this day, I have an intimate relationship with my meditation practice. It keeps me sane. :)
Many somatic practices have shaped and deepened my healing from there. EMDR and Brainspotting are two of my favorites. I can’t recommend them enough for anyone looking to process trauma, no matter how big or small. If you’re feeling stuck in your life, these are powerful tools to move through.
Anything that moves energy, helps release trauma, and creates new neural pathways — I’m all in. Anything that tends to the nervous system fascinates and grounds me. I truly believe that change is possible for everyone.
And no — I haven’t stopped meditating since I started. It has transformed my life.
What also changed my life? Breathwork.
When I took my first Revelation Breathwork class, I was hooked. It was cathartic, healing, and such a release, a complete nervous system reset.
See how none of this was a straight line? And no one could tell me which direction to go. I had to discover it on my own, through trial and error. I had to follow my curiosity, listen to my body, and stay open. That’s the beauty (and the challenge) of this kind of work. No one else can hand you the map. But you can learn to trust your own compass.
I had no idea where any of it was going. I just followed what felt good. What brought me more joy. What helped me heal. It’s been a zigzagging path through my own healing journey, one that ultimately led me to sharing this work with others.
Ready to explore your own compass?
If you’ve been feeling stuck or seeking a deeper connection with your body’s wisdom, I invite you to try a simple yet profound somatic practice: Conscious Connected Breathing. In my YouTube video, I guide you through this powerful technique to help regulate your nervous system, move stuck energy, and reconnect with your inner guidance.
✨ Watch the video here and take your next breath toward healing.
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