Radical Acceptance and the Release of Resentment
A personal reflection on boundaries, breathwork, and the somatic release that set me free.
If you're reading this, I'm guessing you already know (at least on some level) that resentment holds you back. There's that well-known saying:
“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
And it’s true. Resentment only poisons us. But here’s the paradox: it’s often the very emotion we have to work through in order to get to the other side, toward liberation. Toward freedom.
In my experience, resentment usually comes from the belief that we’ve been wronged by someone or something, that we’ve been victimized. We think of resentment as a response to what someone did to us. But often, when I look deeper, I find it’s rooted in how I abandoned myself.
When we don’t hold our boundaries… when we say “yes” but mean “no”… when we ignore that quiet inner voice, we often start to feel resentful. And what do we do? We blame the person who overstepped the boundary that we didn’t enforce.
“They're a jerk.”
“He wronged me.”
“She treats me terribly.”
We point the finger outward, when in truth, we’re angry with ourselves.
At its core, resentment is often a signal that we left ourselves.
We abandoned what we needed.
We swallowed the “no.”
And underneath all that is sadness, grief, even rage.
But here’s the trap: if we don’t recognize this for what it is, resentment can lead to more self-abandonment. We turn our anger inward. We shame ourselves. We suppress.
So, what’s the key?
Healthy expression. Especially of anger.
I know that sounds simple, and sometimes, it is. But only when we have safe and supportive containers to process it. Spaces where our emotions can be witnessed, not fixed.
A Personal Example
I’ve been working on this for years, and spoiler alert: I’m still not perfect (shocking, I know). Life has a way of giving us the same lessons in deeper layers.
This week, I went into a breathwork session with my mentor feeling… off. There was this low-grade agitation I couldn’t quite place. Not full-blown anger or sadness, just a buzzing undercurrent I couldn’t shake.
And in somatic work, sometimes the why doesn’t matter. What matters is listening to the body.
My mentor poked around gently to help me uncover what needed to be seen and felt. I shared how I often feel like I’m carrying everything - for my kids, for my household, emotionally and physically. Mostly on my own. And I found myself judging my situation and questioning why it wasn’t different.
Eventually, I hit a point where I just… vented. Verbal vomit. It wasn’t polished or profound, but it felt good. My coach held space without trying to fix me. No advice. No “you shoulds.” Just presence and permission.
Then he said, “Ready to breathe?”
And that is where the real release happened.
The Body Knows
During the 40 minutes of active breathing, my agitation started to make sense. My jaw was tight. My body wanted to sound, to move, to release. I felt the urge to growl, so I let myself. (I was muted, which I always offer for my clients, too.)
No one could hear me. No one to judge me.
I let myself breathe. Cry. Growl.
And something in me started to open.
Afterward, I felt both lighter and exhausted. That’s one of the beautiful contradictions of somatic work - we learn to hold opposing emotions. Loss and gratitude. Fear and excitement. Anger and compassion. We expand our capacity to feel it all.
And I wasn’t surprised by the exhaustion. It is exhausting to suppress emotions, especially anger and resentment. These energies need movement. They need a place to go.
Integration and Insight
Over the next couple of days, the effects of that session lingered. I felt them ripple through me as I integrated what had been released. And eventually, I landed on a profound realization:
Letting go of resentment unlocked a massive sense of liberation.
But here’s the thing: I didn’t get there by just thinking my way through it. I couldn’t force myself to "just let it go." I had to feel my way through. I had to do the deep, embodied work to release it.
And let me tell you, on the other side was freedom. A freedom I didn’t even realize I was craving.
And I want this for you, too.
You are allowed to feel it all. You are allowed to express what hurts. And you are allowed to come back to yourself - with compassion, with curiosity, and with radical acceptance.
Final Thoughts
Resentment is a messenger. Not something to judge, but something to meet with awareness. When we slow down, listen, and feel, we create the conditions for real healing.
Letting go is not about pretending it didn’t hurt.
It’s about honoring that it did, and choosing to reclaim your power anyway.
And that? That’s radical.
Ready to Break Free from Self-Abandonment?
If this resonates with you—if you've been carrying that low-grade agitation or feeling resentful without knowing why—I have something that can help you start shifting this pattern right now.
Watch: Stop Saying Yes When You Mean No: A Somatic Exercise to End Self-Abandonment
In this guided video, I'll walk you through the same type of somatic practice that helped me reconnect with my body's wisdom. You'll learn to feel the difference between your authentic "yes" and your sacred "no"—so you can stop abandoning yourself and start choosing you.
Because here's the truth: you don't have to carry that resentment forever. You don't have to keep saying yes when your body is screaming no.
The path to liberation starts with listening to what your body has been trying to tell you all along.
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