Chop Wood, Carry Water
How many of you are feeling like life is really life-ing right now?
It seems like since 2020 we just haven’t been able to catch our breath. And when I say we, I mean all of us — collectively.
It feels like it’s been one thing after another.
I keep hearing people say, “It’s still going to get worse.” I’ve been hearing that since 2020 — literally.
And while I believe them, I also find myself wondering… how could it possibly get worse?
And yet, somehow, it does.
Another shocking world event.
More losses.
More corruption and disruption.
More fear.
More and more fear.
When is it going to be enough?
When will it stop?
Or… is this just the new normal?
I really hope not.
Because this is definitely not the “new normal” I’m willing to accept.
My life was supposed to be just (re)starting in 2020. I had just finalized my horrific divorce and felt ready to rock and roll — ready to rebuild, to create, to really live my best new life.
And in many ways, I have. And I am.
But life also feels so unfair sometimes. So much harder than I ever imagined midlife could be.
I feel like I’ve been through the ringer.
And when I zoom out, I see that our entire humanity has been through the ringer.
The hardest part for me lately has been finding the balance between staying aware of the world and staying rooted in my own heart.
Because honestly, these days, tuning into almost any kind of news or media can quickly pull me out of myself.
And I don’t want any more distractions.
Right now, the only thing I can really focus on is doing my best to stay regulated and grounded so that I can show up for my family, my friends, and my clients.
So I’m back to the basics.
Sleep.
Hydration.
Nourishing food.
More rest.
More sleep.
And connecting with friends and family when I actually have the energy.
This might sound a little sad, and maybe for the moment it is. But I also know, deeply, that this too shall pass.
This state of “everything” cannot last forever.
Nothing does.
But the only way through it… is through it.
I can’t change it.
I can’t resist it.
I can’t will it away.
So I’m choosing the gentler route — the one that might look quiet or even a little withdrawn from the outside, but that ultimately feels the most nourishing for me and for my kids.
This isn’t isolation.
It’s laser focus on the only thing I can truly control: my inner peace.
It’s very much chop wood, carry water mode around here.
And honestly… I’m okay with that.
Life is a lot right now, no matter where you live.
And life in Los Angeles adds its own layer of chaos. The traffic alone can be stressful enough.
There’s just a lot of extra noise here.
And that’s on a normal day — when the world doesn’t feel quite so heavy.
Right now, it feels heavy.
And I thought 2020 was a lot.
What Matters Most Right Now
Right now, what matters most to me is my wellbeing and my kids’ wellbeing.
That’s where my focus is.
I’m tucking them into bed more (yes, even though they’re 16 and 13 — each has their own version of this).
We’re getting into pajamas earlier.
We’re declining some “hangs.”
We’re eating more meals together.
I’m staying closer to them than usual.
Because these are the things I can control. And these are the things that feel nurturing and stabilizing for us right now.
I’ve also been leaning more deeply into my somatic practices.
Lately I’ve started calling my morning routine and daily somatic work my devotional practices.
That word feels more honest.
Because that’s what they’ve become.
Yes, they are all techniques I’ve practiced for years. But now they feel less like “tools” and more like devotion.
Time spent with myself.
With my body.
With my breath.
With my soul.
They’ve become completely non-negotiable.
A way to return to myself again and again, no matter what the world is doing.
And maybe that’s the real practice right now — not fixing the world or predicting what’s next, but simply tending to our own nervous systems and the small circles of life we’re responsible for. Coming back to the body. Coming back to the breath. Coming back to the simple, ordinary moments that quietly hold us together. If life feels like a lot right now, you’re not alone. For me, the path forward is simple: stay close to what nourishes, stay devoted to what regulates, and trust that even the heaviest seasons eventually soften and pass.
After a recent personal loss in my family, this past weekend was full of beautiful celebrations, connection, and meaningful moments. And today, I found myself feeling emotionally full… and physically tired.
So instead of pushing through, I chose to take care of myself.
In this short video, I’m sharing one very simple nervous system tool that helps me regulate when life feels heavy: humming to calm the vagus nerve.
If today feels like a heavy day for you, I hope this practice helps.
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