The Rhythm of Summer: European Hours & Kitchen Chats
How amazing would it be if the primary parent didn’t have to work when their kids were off school?
I was going to just say summertime, but my kids also have a three-week winter break, a spring break, and a whole bunch of days off in between, all of which make working a 9-to-5 challenging.
Even as an entrepreneur (I make my own hours), it’s still a challenge. I want my income-earning hours to match my kids’ learning hours. It just makes sense. Because when they aren’t at their “jobs” (i.e., school), I want to be available and fully present. That’s why I chose to be a mom: to be a mom.
When they were babies, toddlers, and little ones needing lots of care, I was blessed to be with them full time. I chose that. It didn’t come without sacrifice. I closed down my business at the time because doing both (well) didn’t feel like an option for me. I’m deeply grateful for that experience.
Now that my kids are older (a preteen and a teen), the full-on care has shifted, but the emotional labor feels equally, if not more, intense. My sleep is disrupted again, just in a different way. I might not be up every few hours nursing a baby anymore, but the nights are still short. Late-night pickups and waiting up for teen curfews aren’t all that different.
It’s not until the doors are locked and everyone’s safely home that I can relax and fall asleep. Ahhh, a successful night. Everyone’s in, safe and sound. I’m usually so relieved I don’t even mind hearing someone rustling around in the kitchen making a midnight snack. They’re home. They’re safe. All is okay.
While having kids at home during summer and trying to work can be frustrating, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I love the rhythm of summer and how each one creates its own unique flow. Each child. Each season.
One summer, my daughter and I slipped into a rhythm of sleeping late (something I rarely do), doing our own things during the day, and then meeting up around 4 or 5 p.m. to get dressed and head out for a little outing—usually a meal and a fun errand. We still talk about that time and call it our “European hours”: staying up late, sleeping in, lounging longer, me doing some work, and only stepping into the world a couple of hours before sunset.
This summer, my son and I have fallen into a different rhythm that I absolutely love. He’s 16 and super social. Like the summer rhythm I had with my daughter, we both do our own thing during the day (his often involves sleeping very late!). Then we reconnect in the kitchen in the late afternoon for a meal. It’s later than lunch but earlier than dinner.
We find ourselves there (me cooking, him lounging nearby) and I usually make him something that counts as both breakfast and lunch. He doesn’t know this is our rhythm. If he even thinks about it at all (which I doubt) he probably just assumes we bump into each other at the same time each day.
But it’s not an accident.
He doesn’t know that I’m in my office, half-working, half-listening for his footsteps, so I can “just happen” to be in the kitchen when he arrives. It’s my little secret. A sacred one.
That time might only mean 30 minutes of conversation (or sometimes just a few exchanged words) but it’s my daily chance to see his face, check in, and be available in case he has something to say. Or even if he doesn’t. Because if you’ve ever known a teen boy, you know they don’t always have a lot to say to their parents. So I want to be there just in case he does.
And when he does? It’s an honor. One I don’t take lightly.
I love this rhythm.
During the school year, we have more structured family dinners because we’re all more naturally on the same routine. But in summer, I like to adapt to my kids’ flow. It’s fun and refreshing for me too. I love mixing things up and breaking the monotony that can come with parenting and life.
I know some parents may disagree - feeling like we shouldn’t bend so much, or that kids need to stick to a consistent schedule or routine. And that’s also true. But in my 16 years of doing this, I’ve found that I win (big time) when I’m willing to adapt a little.
That’s another secret of mine. And when Mama’s winning, the whole family is winning.
I’ve also learned that parenting is the furthest thing from black and white. It’s a constantly evolving, malleable job description. There are times for rules and structure, and there are times to allow more fluidity.
For me, summertime is a season where I intentionally choose more flexibility - for myself and my kids. It’s a time to rest more, break up the routine, do things differently, and find a whole new (albeit temporary) rhythm.
Until the next one.
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