The Holiday Secret That Brings Me Joy
It’s December, and Christmas Day is fast approaching. I was raised celebrating Christmas, and my kids and I continue that tradition. However, I often feel like an outlier in how I choose to celebrate the season. This isn’t something I share openly or frequently, but I really try to be intentional about how I am being during this time. Always, because this is a lifestyle choice for me - but especially during the holiday season, it feels even more important. It takes a little extra time and effort to stay grounded and present.
For me, the holiday focus has shifted.
It’s much less about the external (consumerism, materialism, and all the "stuff") and more about how I want to be and feel, and how I want my kids to experience me during this time of year.
There’s something so magical about the holiday season. For many, it’s about the traditions - the Christmas tree, the decorations, cookie baking, shopping, and gift exchanging. These are all beautiful traditions, and they hold deep meaning for many families. For me, those things can be meaningful, but they can also leave me with a sense of emptiness inside. It almost feels like a distraction from what’s really going on within me - like an attempt to fill a deeper longing that can’t be satisfied with more stuff or busyness. Because what’s really going on inside me, especially during this time of year, is the feeling of missing my family and childhood friends. I moved away from my hometown just outside of Seattle to Los Angeles, and even though I now have a family of my own and wonderful friends here, I still feel that persistent pull to my roots in the Pacific Northwest - especially around the holidays. And I think, for me, all the external things (overindulging, overspending, overdoing) used to be ways to mask that longing, to distract from the emptiness I was feeling.
I think many of us do - feel emotions that aren’t always as jolly and festive as we’re expected to be during this time. But we’re so busy, overdoing everything, that we may not even notice it. Maybe we’ll reflect on it later, after the holidays.
But that way of living doesn’t work for me anymore. I want to feel it all and be present now. Because when I do that, it brings so much more joy and richness to my life—and to each moment!
So, here’s my holiday secret:
I am not super busy this month like everyone else. I don’t have a gazillion holiday parties, errands to run, or gifts to wrap. Okay, I definitely have gifts to wrap for my kids - but not a gazillion. For the past few years, I’ve given myself permission to scale WAY back on all things holiday, and it feels so good!
It feels good because I get to be true to myself and honor what feels best for me. Of course, I balance this with some of my kids’ desires, but that’s part of the beauty of living my life this way. I have so much room to be present and in the moment with what we desire. I also have room for the joy of spontaneity - a quality I’ve come to realize is a nonnegotiable for me. I need room to be spontaneous and to say yes in the moment when a desire calls to me. That’s what allows me to feel and be in love with my life.
This is how I want to experience the holiday season - and equally important, this is how I want my kids to experience their mom: steady, present, and fully engaged, no matter the time of year.